Even beloved cartoons are not safe from the hordes...

Bet she's wishing for some rubber masks now.

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Big Ball of Awesomeness

Two of my favorite comedians/hosts/funny-ass dudes teamed up on last Friday's The Soup.



Delicious.

Week....no, GEEKend Links!!!!!

Word of the Week: Nignorance (The Maroon Tiger, my school paper!)

Advice for President-Elect Obama, courtesy of the fictional Presidents. (AMC Blogs)

Wil Wheaton (my patron saint) has a new gig. (CultureGeek) And returns to an old one. (WWdN: In Exile)

Aw hell, might as well: Wil Wheaton has a helpful pie chart. (WWdN: In Exile)

And after the jump, as I promised: Both the original and the redone BatG audition videos.....


....will be shown on Monday. Gotcha!

EPIC SAD.

I am in trouble. Help. Me.

My mother is insane.

Okay, a few days ago I was at my mother's house. We were talking, and somehow we got on the topic of marriage, specifically my own. She basically said she was tired of waiting for me to find someone, so she was going to do it for me. I tried to reason with her, to explain this was America and we don't have arraigned marriages. But she didn't want to hear it. I let it go, thinking that it was simply her maternal instinct kicking in at an odd moment.

Unfortunately, fate was on her side.

See, while we were talking, Jeopardy (the game show) was coming on. It was the College Championship series, and the contestants were qualifying for the semi-finals. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal.

Until Mom saw her.

Apparently, due to a confluence of factors (including the fact that both Gabrielle and I answered questions correctly at the same time), my mother has deemed her TOP MRS VERMILLION NUMBER ONE. She has sworn to find this young woman and see if she can make us work.

I know what you are thinking. And it is not that damn funny.

To Gabrielle or any of her friends that might stumble upon this: I am so sorry. I did not approve of this in any way. You are quite attractive, and if you are interested, I would be quite eager to follow this through. But please do not hold my mother's actions against me or anyone in the fine state of Georgia. I blame the lack of water, really.

Oldie but Oh-so-goody...

From one of the probably three reality shows I actually watched comes this clip featuring the Queen of Geeky Hotness (Sorry, Alex, she came first).

Update (thanks for the heads up)

Lisa Loeb Thong Video
by Mentalaceman

Zombies, Superheroes, and Deathmarked IT Guys Part 2

[15:26] me: Not again
[15:26] me: DO NOT KILL THE IT GUY
[15:27] TK: I WILL CUT HIM OPEN AND FEAST ON THE STEAMING GOO WITHIN
[15:27] me: Those zombies are a bad influence I tells ya
[15:29] TK: ... they're the only real friends i have...
[15:29] me: They are not your friends!!!!!
[15:31] TK: but... but...
[15:32] me: they only want you for your brains!!!!!
[15:32] me: ANd not in the good way!!!
[15:33] TK: well, that's not true.
[15:33] TK: besides, they're completely under my control
[15:33] TK: they only eat OTHER people's brains
[15:33] me: Keep telling yourself that
[15:34] me: Just remember, once they eat everybody else's brains, there will still be one left.
[15:34] TK: there will always be more brains.
[15:34] me: And then you will see how friendly they are
[15:34] TK: if we run out, i'll just start heading south... towards atlanta
[15:38] me: ...
[15:38] me: I will kneecap you, I swear
[15:39] me: I may not make it, but I will take you with me
[15:40] TK: why would i go with them?
[15:40] TK: i'll be up here, watching it on the news
[15:40] me: It doesn't matter
[15:40] me: They are slow, and have a ways to go
[15:40] me: I will hijack me a vehicle with plenty of explodey gas and head straight for you
[15:40] TK: soon everyone will be turned... and then I'll have _lots_ of friends.
[15:40] me: We will stop you before it happens
[15:43] TK: don't you want to be my friend?
[15:43] me: Only if I get to eat your brain
[15:43] TK: that's not how it workds
[15:43] TK: works
[15:43] me: That is how it works with me
[15:44] TK: hmmm
[15:44] TK: an impasse
[15:44] me: Let us move on
[15:44] me: This could get ugly
[15:45] me: By the way, Stacey Nosek needs an intervention with these reality shows I swear

Question...

Who watched the the last few episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender, especially "Sozin's Comet", even if you aren't 12? Discuss.

Addendum: Who also screams "Kill the bitch!" whenever Azula is onscreen, besides me?

Weekend Links

I did in fact go see TDK today. It was awesome. Here is the Watchmen trailer that was attached. (http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2008/07/the-watchmen-tr.html)

Oh. Oh my. Here is a question for the ages: by what wonderful twist of fate does it end up that her bikini shots are rarer than her nude scenes? (Popoholic)

Railgun. (Cracked)

Please go and comment so he can stop crying. (Hispanic! At The Disco)

Uh....okay then. Just back away and don't make any sudden moves. (WIMB)

Here is Maggie Gyllenhaal on Thursday's The Daily Show. I don't know who I want to nail more: her, or Jon Stewart for pulling out the M'Kraan Crystal reference.

Dungeons and Dragons Links

For those of you "in the know", the new edition of Dungeons and Dragons has been released today. As I scramble to find 100 bucks or so to preorder the core rulebook set, I went ahead and found some interesting links for you guys.

First up, Gabe and Tycho (creators of Penny Arcade) as well as their eternal nemesis Scott Kurtz (of PVP fame) got together for an exclusive playtest of 4E. And, luckily for us, they are releasing the sessions as both a podcast and a webcomic on WotC's website. Listen to it, if only to hear the character name discussion ("Jim Darkmagic" indeed) and learn about the "rat king".

For my fellow science nerds/BSG fans, there is The Science of Battlestar Galactica. Definitely check out the two-part article about possibly the most controversial part of the show: Cylon-Colonial crossbreeding.

And because Agent Bedhead linked to me, I am returning the favor. Plus, it is pretty funny.

Kudos to Daniel for reigniting my desire for both Lost and Evangeline Lilly.

What...the....F-CK?!?!?!!

My mind is officially blown.

Listen, I have only seen at most two episodes of Grey's Anatomy. It is just not my cup of tea. But that did not stop me from appreciating the talents of Ms. Sara Ramirez as Dr. Callie Torres, the unreasonably-unlucky-in-love surgeon who, despite the blatantly ill-advised marriage to that dorky looking George dude.



This even led me to mention her as one of my favorite Hotties in my Book. Plus, there is the underwear dancing.

So imagine my surprise when, after following a series of links starting at Pajiba and ending up on AfterEllen.com and their Hot 100 List (which is, by the way, loads better than Maxim or FHM and their meathead attempts), and found this little tidbit:

The woman who made perhaps the biggest jump in rank this year is actress Sara Ramirez, who rose from No. 80 in 2007 to No. 9 in 2008, proving that playing gay can be good for your career! (OK, so the voting was closed before her character came out on Grey's, but we lesbians have excellent gaydar, even for fictional TV characters.)

"...wait a sec," I said, heart (as well as other body parts) about to rip though my clothes. "What is this about her playing gay? You mean...CALLIE CAME OUT?!?!?!!?!!" And yes, you could hear the question and exclamation points in my voice at the time.

AfterEllen helpfully linked to their article discussing the Grey's Season finale where this senses-shattering (in my opinion) event happened. Following the article to its logical conclusion, I saw this:

Bisou lesbien Grey's Anatomy
by GayClic

Good God Almighty.

It doesn't hurt that the lucky recipient of Callie's loving is played by Brooke Smith, who I have found quite attractive and intriguing all on her own, since seeing her in Series 7: The Contenders. Hmm, crushing on a woman after seeing her murder several people in cold blood while in advanced pregnancy. I fear I may be a bit weird.

So if you don't hear back from me right away, I'll...be in my bunk. Trust me, you don't want to ponder that any further.

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P.S. We totally need a sequel to Series 7. It would be right up my alley. And possibly some of yours.

P.P.S. Thanks to AfterEllen for finding such a mind-blowing picture of Ms. Ramirez. I hope they don't mind me borrowing it for a little while.

Jackie Chan on Craig Ferguson

I promised some happier thoughts, so here you go.

This shows why I will always love Jackie Chan. Plus he does make some good points re: how people respond to seeing him and how action movies are harder to make than dramas, but they don't get any respect.

Plus, if anything is redeeming about "The Forbidden Kingdom", it is the end of the segment, where they show Jackie Chan and Jet Li talking shit about each other. Purely joking of course.

REALITY SHOW UPDATE!!!!!

Um, guess what?

3Ball Productions just called me a few minutes ago.

If you don't remember, 3Ball Productions are the folks behind, among other shows, Beauty and the Geek.

Well, they told me that they remember me from the casting call, and said that I almost made it. They wanted to know if I wanted to participate in the new season of another show.

That show? The Pickup Artist.

Let me answer your questions: yes, that one; yes, the one with Mystery; yes, the goofball in the big hats; and the prize is $50,000.

Much as been said about the show and its depiction of the contestants. And from the little I saw, I can't say I was a fanatic about the show. Still it is a TV show, I am still an attention whore, and that prize is quite a lot of money.

So folks, what do you think? I can kinda guess LitelySalted's answer, considering her reaction to the first season, but I could be wrong. Should I give it a shot, or should hold out for something else?

The Wisdom of Buddy Ryan

This may be heretical, but I think this was John Astin's best role, even better than Gomez Addams. While Gomez was peculiar, he still had his family to share in it. Buddy was a whole other creature. What else can you say about a guy who can count a near-nihilistic voluntary mute (who likes noogies), a psychiatrist who thinks he is a dog, and a mysterious friend named Nick with a flying convertible among his friends?

Some of his better lines (damn I wish they had them on video):

Buddy: [Harry wakes from a nap to find he's been laying on Buddy's knee. Buddy just smiles at him] I didn't want to disturb you.
Judge Harry T. Stone: You did a real good job.
Buddy: [smiling] You're a fine looking young man.
Judge Harry T. Stone: Thank you very much.
Buddy: [long pause. Smiling] Wanna know who the hell I am?

Buddy Ryan: [Seeing Christine pregnant for the first time] Is it my imagination, or is Christine developing a beer gut?

Christine Sullivan: Buddy? Is that you?
Buddy Ryan: [takes off his sunglasses and looks into a hand mirror] By golly, it is!

And the introduction of his catchphrase, which when combined with the half-smile and wide-eyed stare, was absolutely perfect in hilarity and fright:

Buddy: [about Harry's mother] She ended up in a mental hospital. That's where we met.
Judge Harold T. "Harry" Stone: I'm gonna go out on a limb here... you weren't on the staff, were you?
[Buddy grins and shakes his head]
Buddy: But I'm feeling much better now.

Seriously, Harry didn't have a chance at being remotely normal with a father like that.

Harry Stone: [after finding out Buddy's his biological father] All right, Buddy, whatever you have to say, go ahead and lay it out. Nothing that you can say could possibly faze me now!
Buddy Ryan: You were born in a *mental institution*!
Harry Stone: ...I stand corrected.

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Paragon of Greatness: Dan Fielding

   From TV Squad, who dared to bill him as a 'sidekick':

Okay, you can call this one grand theft acting. As D.A. Dan Fielding, comic twit and sleazy attorney, John Larroquette stole this show from Harry Anderson and every other performer in the cast. It wasn't just that the character was well-written and got the best jokes, it was Larroquette's over the top interpretation. He really made you despise lawyers -- more than you already had.

    But despite his best efforts, he still managed to show that deep down, he was a class act. A man of true integrity and honor, and a person who would never betray a friend's trust, no matter how much he wanted to get into their panties. In a classic episode, Dan saves Christine's life and requests that she sleep with him in gratitude.

    But despite his best efforts (and the finest bottle of Chateau Libido the hotel could find), he could not bring himself to violate her trust in that way. In another episode, he risks his life to save Roz Russell, who was delirious from insulin shock (funnily enough, he didn't ask to knock boots with her afterwards).

The criminally few clips that I can find showing how awesome the man is:

I swear, I may have to start my own Dan Fielding YouTube Channel, if it were legal.

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Top 5 People Was Surprised to See On Night Court

Night Court, as with most sitcoms, managed to squeeze in a celebrity guest spot or two during its run. Now any regular obsessed fan knows about Brent Spiner and John Astin, and of course Mel Torme and (strangely not that out of place) Yakov Smirnoff. But there are other famous, and some not-yet-famous, that graced the halls of the Manhattan criminal court system. Such as:

-Teri Hatcher (Lois & Clark, Desperate Housewives) - Yes, back when she was naturally hot, she played the niece of the District Attorney and a cruel tease for Dan. Sadly, both Dan and I still would hit it. ()

- Kelly Hu (X2, Scorpion King, In Case of Emergency) - She played the unreasonably hot memebr of an Eskimo family that saved Dan from a plane crash. (Danny's Got His Gun)

- Dennis Haysbert (24, The Unit) - Was an escaped con who falls for Roz. Probably the only guy who realistically looked like he could handle Marsha Warfield in bed. I know I would want a guy like that as defender of the free world. (Pen Pal)

- Don Cheadle (Crash, Ocean's Trilogy) - He played, get this, A TROUBLED TEENAGER whom Roz takes under her wing after he takes her hostage. Seriously, motherfucker popped up out of nowhere. And yet, he still acted the hell out of that role. (Jung And The Restless)

Any I missed?

Tags: TV, Comedy, Celebrities

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Trivia Thursday - Night Court Edition

1) Probably the best question to start off with: What is Dan Fielding's full name, and who was the behind-the-scenes inspiration for it?

2) Who are the only actors to have been on the show through the entire run of the show?

3) True or False: The origin of Harry Stone's appointment as judge was based on a real life event.

4) What unique distinction does Night Court have due to its male cast?

5) Used as a punchline in one episode, what was Stone's most frequent sentencing, usually for prostitution cases?

6) What is the officially mentioned record for number of cases processed by the court in one shift? (hint: the shift ends at midnight)

7) True or False: Harry Stone was created specifically for Harry Anderson.

8) Despite their best attempts at making him a geek, Harry Stone had several love interests during the course of the series. Besides Christine Sullivan, name at least two.

9) What is Bull's real name? Bonus points if you can tell the story behind it.

10) What is Bull's IQ?

11) John Larroquette was attached to a famous film which was once referenced in an episode. What was the film and what was his role?

12) How many Emmy nominations did John Larroquette receive for his role as Dan Fielding, and why didn't he ever get nominated again?

Hotties in my Book: Markie Post

Okay, true Nigth Court fans know that the show has had its share of hot women, quite a few were part of the main cast. But only one truly comes out on top. She managed to steal the hearts of millions of men with her near-precoccious innocence and naivete, and grew into a fully developed (fight the boob joke) character over the course of the show.

That woman was Christine Sullivan, brought to mind-boggling 3-D hotness by Markie Post (The Fall Guy).

True she was a bit Mickey Mouse Club most of the time, and that whole Anglophilia thing she had coing with Charles and Diana (looking back, she probably crawled up into a hole and never came out after all that mess), but you cannot argue with the rest of the package, so to speak. Besides any woman who can get Dan to actually want to change from a wanton sex god into a companion has to have some magic working for her.

Her defining moment of absolute hotness: In an effort to save an orphanage, Christine decides to flash one very lucky man. In doing so, she shows that her natural...gifts are worth considerably more than most women spend on imitations:

Seriously, her chest is worth at least $150,000 PER BOOB. I'd say that is a freaking bargain.

Because Christine was a bit of a prude, she never really displayed the rampant hotness that was under those dowdy clothes except for an occassional gag. Luckily for us, Markie Post herself did not have that problem. So, please to enjoy this little collection of pics. And just to show that her hotness hasn't cooled, I throw in a clip of her as Eliot's mom on Scrubs.

Tangent: On Scrubs, Eliot has been shown to have some pretty out there sexual kinks, and yet is unable to curse or even mention certain body parts. Almost like a certain DA and a certain defense attorney that hooked up at the end of a certain series? I mean, the years don't really match up, and one could argue it is mostly her mother's influence, but I just find it interesting the confluence of disparate elements here.

Night Court Week: The Beginning

And the Lord said "Let there be an iconic sitcom to show that the 1980s wasn't a total wash." And the skies parted, and the ocean roiled, and lo, a light shone upon the Earth, and Night Court was born. And the Lord saw it, and it was good.

Need I say more? Yes, you say? Fine, you parasites.

Night Court was a primetime sitcom that ran for nine(!) seasons on NBC. The show proved so popular that it forced not one but two extra seasons beyond the original final season.

The story: Judge Harry Stone, a magic-loving maverick whose gained his seat at the bench through a crazy set of coincidences, becomes the new judge for the night shift of the Mahattan Criminal Court. Between his antics, the unusual staff, and the oftentimes wacky cases, it is a miracle anything gets done. The court is such a magnet for weirdness that an audit was called in for the myriad of expenses the court incurred, only to be interrupted by a gun-wielding clown.

From Wikipedia:

The comedy style on Night Court could best be described as broad, almost slapstick comedy. The main characters had personality quirks which made them slightly off-kilter. Logic and realism were frequently abandoned for the sake of a joke: cartoon animal Wile E. Coyote (a Warner Bros. property, like Night Court) once appeared in a brief gag as a defendant ("I know you're hungry, but leave the poor bird alone!"), and a group of Trekkies "beamed out" after stating they answer only to Starfleet Command and not Harry's authority. A typical plot might have Judge Stone trying to stop a group of rival ventriloquists and their dummies from assaulting each other, (then NBC chairman) Brandon Tartikoff bailing out a Nielsen family so they could get home to watch
Misfits of Science
, or Harry pushing the court staff to meet a deadline of 200 cases to be adjudicated before midnight.

The show featured several defendants who appeared before the court again and again-notably the Wheelers, who initially pretended to be stereotypical hicks from West Virginia but were later revealed as Yugoslavians, and at one point even ran a concession stand in the courthouse.

Funnily enough, for a sitcom that was based on outlandish comedy, it was surprisingly realistic in its examination of courtroom mechanics, at least during the first season. According to DVD Verdict:

Series creator Reinhold Weege (also the brains behind the cop sitcom Barney Miller back in the 1970s) developed the Night Court idea after spending considerable time researching the New York criminal courts, including sitting on the bench with actual night court judges. The proceedings in Night Court may seem a bit informal and outlandish at times, but they are accurate. Time magazine once called Night Court the most realistic legal program on the air at the time. According to Weege, couples looking for a cheap date would sometimes attend New York night court sessions as entertainment, just to see precisely the sort of people that appear in Harry's courtroom.

For those of you not terribly familiar with the show, this is probably the best clip I could find that truly conveys the sense of decorum and gravitas this show produced weekly:

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Another Great Truth, Discovered In Bed.

I like Neil Patrick Harris. Especially as Barney on How I Met Your Mother. But I couldn't put my finger on WHY I liked the character so much.

Until the most recent episode, featuring the tournament bracket for the top girls he slept with and dumped. I realized then what was so special about him.

He is this generation's Dan Fielding.

Just as John Larroquette turned a despicable character into an award-winning performance, so is NPH pulling magic out of what, in lesser hands, would be just cruel.

Since they like the stunt casting on HIMYM, and since they established that Barney doesn't know who his father is, they should sell some kidneys or whatever they must to get Larroquette on there as a potential father. Even if it is a red herring, just the idea of that kind of callback is just too much to ignore.