Hotties in my Book: Paget Brewster

Another return to form, as I focus on another target of obsession. (Forgive the video heavy post, but she is even better in action)


I can't believe it has taken me this long to put her up on here. I mean come on!

Ms. Brewster is a very talented actress who gained the unfortunate label of a show-killer (which she currently disproving on Criminal Minds). It saddened me really, since I absolutely adore her. She is funny and fresh, with a little hint of quirk.

Plus, she was Birdgirl!

Of course, I fell in love with her during her spots on Conan. Like this one from a recent Tonight Show:

She is also sexy as hell when she wants to be. Or when she doesn't. Hell, women can't seem to keep their hands off her.

She even gets her sapphic mack on in a show as innocuous as Andy Richter Controls The Universe (RIP).

Even Hugh Hefner thought she was hot enough to send her a handwritten offer to pose for Playboy. Seeing as how she has no silicone nor blond hair (aka not his usual type), she must have really made an impression. (She said thanks but no thanks. Damn!)

So what do you think? (Keep in mind any disagreement with her hotness will be met with extreme predjudice)

Eye of the Beholder

Inspired by brother blogger (and most famous person I know) Chez Pazienza, I decided to pop the ol' Receptacle into Google's Image Search to see what kind of shenanigans came up.

Thinking back on it, I am somewhat surprised, really. I thought I was much more substantive.

Oh well, back to ogling.

Guess what happened over the holidays?

Craig Ferguson got married! AGAIN!!!!!!

Here is the surprise announcement, as only Craig can do it:



Craig goes into a bit more detail after the title sequence:

One of the myriad things I love about Craig is how he welcomes his audience into his personal life, good and bad. He is near-brutal in his honesty (such as when he revealed that his mother passed in early December '08), and it just makes him even more awesome than he already is.

So it is not that surprising that he would wait until he was back on-air before he made his big announcement. Of course, the reveal was still funny as hell.

Congrats and best wishes to the lovely couple.

Also, if he is somehow reading: Craig, your wife is HOT. Way to go, dude!

P.S. Blame CBS for the Katy Perry stuff, not me.

A Quarter Century Of Excellence

That is right, my loyal subjects. Today, December 7, 2007, your future lord and ruler has been on this planet for 25 of your Earth years. Funnily enough, I am the only person that makes Pearl Harbor jokes on this day. It is sad how much of our history is forgotten.

To help celebrate, here are some geeky birthday cakes. I really like the R2-D2 one. But the one above, which came from here, really took the cake (hah!).

Last year, I had a casino-themed party. Luckily for me, I didn't include actual money, because this girl I really am crushing on this friend of mine named Erin cleaned us out. This year, since most of my friends went home early, I will probably go to Dave & Buster's and waste a ton of money playing Mechwarrior in the Pods. It will be fun.

I also engaged in a little self-Googling (shut up), and discovered that besides being a movie critic, I am also a World War II fighter ace that got shot down in a hail of aerial gunfire. If you wish to find out more, just pop in my full name or my screen name into a search engine and wallow in my cyberglory. Or better yet, check me out on Technorati. And if certain folks would like to link to this post on their own quite popular sites, that would be appreciated as well.

So do what you will: leave birthday wishes, anecdotes, or if you wish to leave snide remarks, include an address where I can smite you with a doomsday device. I suppose I can part with one and still be feared.

I also accept sexy video dances, but only from the ladies. I am from the South, where we like them in all sizes, so don't be afraid to shake what yo mamma gave ya.

P.S. I want to copy IM messages and use them as filler like TK does! Come on, my info is on my page, and I am on Facebook! Hit a brotha up!

P.P.S. Blogger won't let me put more than one IM name up on the profile page. You can find me on MSN/Hotmail as ashramknight, and on Yahoo as tekkamanavalon.

Looks Like She Has Escalated

Remember my theory about Tyra Banks and her apparent sexual predilection for women on her shows?

No? Well, go read it.

Okay, done? Good. Well, if this clip is any indication, she has not only moved on to men, but now she gets her rocks off by forcing her guests together.



I bet she has hidden cameras in the green room, which is kept filled with chocolates and oysters.

I think this is going to be a recurring theme here. Instead of remarking about her periods of batshit crazy, I am going to document all the evidence on her shows that proves that she is a sexual predator. I will be like Chris Hanson, only I will actually LIKE thinking about her crimes. What? I never said I didn't like her, I said she was crazy. There is a distinction.

Another Goddamn Celeb Post

I believe Tyra Banks....is a lesbian sexual predator. And that is not just my natural desire for all women to desire other women talking. I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out, but some things need explanation.

- Like her obsession with boobs and asses. Nearly every interview, she talks about how much she wants Beyonce's ass or, on ANTM, how much she talks about the models need to stick their asses out more. And then there is the boob groping. She even grabbed Rosie O'Donnell, for crying out loud. This links into...

- Her insistence on talking about her audience's body parts. Every other episode has to do with enhancing busts, getting jeans to make your ass look better, and myriads of beauty 'secrets'. I know models are obsessed with looks, but that means their own looks, not everyone else's. It is like she is dressing them up for the slaughter.

- Her 'theme' shows, like her 'panty party' and the infamous 'Kiss my FAT ASS', where she seemed to enjoy having her entire audience in little clothing. Notice there are no MEN in her audience. Not a one. You figure there would be at least one gay man into this sort of stuff, or a guy dragged there by his mate, or a sad little man who figured he would ogle Tyra for an hour or two. But no.

- Those very special episodes with female porn stars, teen hookers, strippers and the like. She seems particularly more interested about hearing the lurid details of their lives that hyping whatever temporary fix she puts on them, like most talk show hosts.

- Has anyone witnessed her mentioning a boyfriend or anything? I haven't, not since she went to some basketball player's prom (was it Kobe? I think so).

- She had Janice Dickinson judging ANTM. Nobody can come within 100 feet of that woman and not be sexually assaulted. Hell, Jon Lovitz is getting some ass from her. And I actually like Jon Lovitz.

Now, here are the two best reason I could come up with for these anomalies:

1) She is completely off her rocker

or

2) She is a severely closeted lesbian who uses her shows to target future conquests

I believe this was the huge beef Tyra had with Naomi Campbell. Tyra loved her, Naomi only loves herself, and their torrid affair was shattered, breaking Tyra's heart into a million pieces. Naomi could give a rat's ass. So now Tyra uses her shows to scope put other women to secretly approach once the cameras are off. She uses her theme shows to see who has the hottest bodies, then asks for some private "backstage sessions", where the only autograph you get is on an NDA.

Plus, she does idolize Oprah, and that whole Gayle King issue has been under a bit of scrutiny...

I swear this is not a fever dream brought on by too little sex, too much "accidentally" swallowed mouthwash, and barely enough sleep while watching the Oxygen Network. REALLY!

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Good News\Unsure News

Good News: According to MTV News (by way of Junkiness), Renny Harlan and Samuel L. Jackson are getting together for a sequel to The Long Kiss Goodnight.



Unsure News: Geena Davis more than likely won't be involved. While I did enjoy her as Charlie Baltimore, I am not crying in my cereal over it. Hell, as long as they can get Shane Black to write it, I am there.



TLKG has to be the best Sam Jackson movie ever, even though he is only a costar. Why? Because the man is so badass, he gets his ass whooped throughout the entire movie and is still able to save the day. The man got blown out of a damn third-story window, flew through a hotel sign, crashed into a tree, and was still able to throw a knife into a gunman trying to kill him. He literally rose from the dead at least three different times. Let's see Jesus do that to a kickass Muddy Waters guitar riff, then drive a busted Pontiac through an explosion while dodging falling car-sized flaming shrapnel.



That's what I thought.

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