Monday, May 28, 2007

Getting to Know The Crazy Man Talking To You, Part 2

Some more questions and answers....

3. Do you read Dilbert?

I have nearly all of the strip collections, have three of the Dilbert books Adams wrote, and have the daily strip sent to me everyday through email. Also, I made my decision to be an engineer primarily because of him. What does that tell you?

4. $370,000,000. An around the world trip. Twelve destinations. Where do you go and how much do you spend at each stop? Bear in mind you must go to all places, spend at least $10,000 at each place and all the money must be spent at the end of the trip.

Good lord. Can't you ever ask SIMPLE questions?

1) Japan - 100,000,000. Either buying my own animation studio, ownership of Leiji Matsumoto and/or Masamune Shirow, and my own goddamn GIANT ROBOT. I know those bastards have them. STOP BOGARTING THE ROBOTS!!!!!

Or just buy a ton of toys and crap. Also go to Tokyo Game Show.

2) Africa - 100,000,000. Buy Somalia and do it right. Turn it into a real-word Wakanda. Show the world not to give up on it.

3) Brooklyn - 5,000,000. By a big ass ring and ask Rosario Dawson to marry me.

4) Las Vegas - 5,000,000. Honeymoon; have Vanessa Marcil have sex with me and Rosario Dawson.

5) Hollywood - 100,000,000. Make my film as stated above. Have my new wife Rosario run the 'casting couch'. Include said sessions on a special edition DVD that only CSSAers can watch.

6-11) Wizard World Chicago; San Diego Comic Con; GenCon; Origins; Penny Arcade eXpo; and back home for DragonCon. And yes, I fully intend to spend 5,000,000 at each.

12) New York - 30,000,000. Recreate 'Brewster's Millions'.


5. Who would you rather be: Nobby Nobody, who never did anything and lived to be 106, or Genius Geni, absolutely famous and dead at 25?

Neither, because I probably wouldn't be happy either way. No point in living if you don't enjoy your life.

6. What's your realistic, dream job?

Making movies. I want to be the next George Lucas, except with better dialogue and the ability to differentiate between actual actors and driftwood.

8. Breasts, legs or asses: which order do you rank them in?

It is like choosing among my children...

1) Ass (hey, I am a Down South Georgia Boy, what can I say)

2) Legs

3) Breasts

9. What do you think women are looking for in guys?

Humor and confidence. They want you to be able to make them laugh, and you have to know that you are worth her attention. I know this for I lack both, therefore I have no girlfriend. See?

10. In your opinion, does size really matter to women?

Biologically, no. As long as proper stimulus is applied, she will get off no matter what. Psychologically, yes. A woman likes to believe she is TEH HAWTNESS. And a huge member standing erect and ready to crush her guts is apparently adequate evidence. It is an extension of the biological imperative to mate with the dominant male. Unless you don't believe in evolution, in which case it is because God is a cruel, cruel bastard.

11. Moment of life you wish you could just repeat over and over?

Meeting my first (and so far only) girlfriend. It was so great, and I screwed up so royally after.

13. Why is 13 a number of unholy power?

Serious answer: Because it is one more than 12, which is considered a highly lucky number by many cultures. And no matter how many ways to divide 13 people, objects, whatever, you always end up with an odd one out. Also, it was believed that a woman's menstruation occurred 13 times in a year, and if during a full moon, the woman was a witch. And the is some more religion-based reasons that I cannot mention here.

Joke answer: Because 7 ate 9. Wait....

14. You can switch bodies with one person alive right now. Who and why?

Either Kevin Smith or Evil (fellow board member). Kevin because he owns a comic book store and his wife is hot; Evil so that I can take a picture of him/myself petting a bunny and putting it on the web, thereby establishing proof he isn't as evil as he actually is. His power will be weakened because he will be known as the Bunny Guy, and I will finally have my revenge.

15. How long do you stay in that body before going back to your own?

Kevin Smith, forever. Evil, 20 minutes, else I risk being corrupted by his power.

19. The most you've ever eaten in one sitting?

It is between 24 Krystals (they are basically southern White Castle burgers for you Yankee scum) plus two chicken sandwiches OR an entire large pizza and ten buffalo wings.

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