Monday, June 01, 2009

Something I wanted to share...

Note: the following is a short essay I wrote for a scholarship application. More than likely I won't get it, but considering that I wrote it in under 15 minutes from conception to final draft, I just felt like sharing it with you.

The question was: What are you passionate about?

If you had asked me five minutes ago what I was passionate about, all you would get as a response is a blank stare. I never really felt passionate about much. Sure I felt excited, or angry, or what have you. I could tell you I felt a million different emotions to a million different things, but nothing that I could consider passion. I would be at a loss for words.

But that was five minutes ago.

Looking back at my college years, I remember the days where I felt despondent, where I felt that nothing was going right and that I couldn’t take anymore. I could have left, but one thing kept me from doing that: a promise. A promise I made to my family, where I would do whatever it takes to march across that stage and get that diploma.

I am in college now because of my family. I couldn’t even comprehend doing this if it wasn’t for them. Nearly every major decision I made in my life was based less on my desires and more on how it would help or hurt them. I could have went to another school, or taken another course of study, or not bothered with post-secondary education whatsoever. I could have, if I honestly believed that.

But I knew I couldn’t. When I look in the eyes of my nieces and nephews, I knew I couldn’t. When I saw my grandmother in the hospital, I knew I couldn’t. When my parents tell me how much they loved me and how they were so proud, I knew I couldn’t.

They are the only thing keeping me sane, keeping me in the fight. They are the reason I try to adapt and grow with my learning disability, instead of letting it limit me. They are the only thing I can ever see myself dying for, and the only thing that makes my life worth living. I can’t even comprehend a world without them around me, and I would never want to.

So in the end, I am passionate about quite a few things. I am passionate about loyalty. I am passionate about respect, and honor, and truth. I am passionate about fulfilling promises, about having hopes and dreams, about doing what needs to be done. I am passionate about taking chances, whether on a scholarship, or a school, or on a child who learned to read from fast-food restaurants at age two and never stopped reading since. All these things are what I learned from sitting at the dining room table, from attending Sunday service, from visiting the hospital and school recitals and so much more. Nothing in this world could possibly matter to me if not for them.

You want to know what I am passionate about. It is my family. And they return the favor tenfold.

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