I decided to get a few films that I hadn't seen at my neighborhood Crapbuster's (hey, it is my mom's account, and the card is going to waste). It somehow turned into a night of extreme NRA-porn gun violence, punctuated by comedies and an odd choice or two. And since I finished them early, I decided to dive into my personal collection and watch some flicks I had spent real money on.
So the lineup was, in order of viewing:
Shoot 'Em Up: Best part of the DVD is the commentary. The director is awesome, and the tidbits are amazing. Did you know Nick Chinlund came up with the gun-cleaning-on-changing-table gag? Neat tidbit, huh? Oh this one: the actress playing the mother in the museum was so excited about her part, she was bragging to her friends how she was going to get a spanking from Clive Owen. I don't know if that one guy bragged about having Monica Bellucci's hand on his junk, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. The only real drawback to the commentary was the repetition of the phrase "Rube Goldbergian". I had it the first 10 times, you don't need to keep saying it.
Hitman: Yeah, I liked the games (even though I wasn't able to get close to Silent Assassin rank without help from GameFAQs), and decided to give it a whirl. It really does invoke the feeling of the game, which was always a lot more muted and quieter than its action brethren. Another bonus is that he didn't nail the hot chick. I mean, there wasn't any real reason for him to do so, and despite her considerable "charms" and her obvious non-drunken desire to rock his uvula, he didn't cop out. I mean, if they are going to fuck, let it at least make some sense to the character.
Like in Shoot 'Em Up.
Also, have you even noticed how the main screwup these secret societies always make is underestimating the effect of sex on even the most disciplined mind? You can't just have a bunch of boys cloistered in nowhere, being turned into murder machines, and NEVER address the idea of sex and attraction. If every killer you send out can be flabbergasted by somebody batting their baby blues, you are not going to get much done. Plus there is the problem of sex causing rebellion and sedition.
The Killer: I already have Hard-Boiled, and I never seen this in its entirety. Good God, Chow Yun Fat so deserves a goddamn Oscar. He really makes you feel the pain of being betrayed and having to make some hard choices. One of these days, I have to see one of his comedies, since he likes those more than the violent action films. I think he would be quite funny.
TMNT: Shut up. Turtle Power.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: My one true cinematic shame is that I never seen this one in its entirety. I bought the super-fancy Special Edition, too. At least I don't have to worry about hating it anymore. This shit is hilarious.
Drive: God, I love this movie. It is just so ridiculous. I'm not even going to talk too much about it here. I have to do a post extolling the virtues of this film.
I wanted to get Appleseed: Ex Machina before the weekend is over, but the jerks only had it for sale at full price. Puh-leeze.
I still have a ton of movies to watch (I went back for about six more), so my film itch should be scratched for now.
P.S. The job is turning out to be a bit easier now that I have stop thinking so hard. I was overestimating the attention span of those involved and practically scribbled a bunch of stuff down. Still I am definitely asking for a raise.
So the lineup was, in order of viewing:
Shoot 'Em Up: Best part of the DVD is the commentary. The director is awesome, and the tidbits are amazing. Did you know Nick Chinlund came up with the gun-cleaning-on-changing-table gag? Neat tidbit, huh? Oh this one: the actress playing the mother in the museum was so excited about her part, she was bragging to her friends how she was going to get a spanking from Clive Owen. I don't know if that one guy bragged about having Monica Bellucci's hand on his junk, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. The only real drawback to the commentary was the repetition of the phrase "Rube Goldbergian". I had it the first 10 times, you don't need to keep saying it.
Hitman: Yeah, I liked the games (even though I wasn't able to get close to Silent Assassin rank without help from GameFAQs), and decided to give it a whirl. It really does invoke the feeling of the game, which was always a lot more muted and quieter than its action brethren. Another bonus is that he didn't nail the hot chick. I mean, there wasn't any real reason for him to do so, and despite her considerable "charms" and her obvious non-drunken desire to rock his uvula, he didn't cop out. I mean, if they are going to fuck, let it at least make some sense to the character.
Like in Shoot 'Em Up.
Also, have you even noticed how the main screwup these secret societies always make is underestimating the effect of sex on even the most disciplined mind? You can't just have a bunch of boys cloistered in nowhere, being turned into murder machines, and NEVER address the idea of sex and attraction. If every killer you send out can be flabbergasted by somebody batting their baby blues, you are not going to get much done. Plus there is the problem of sex causing rebellion and sedition.
The Killer: I already have Hard-Boiled, and I never seen this in its entirety. Good God, Chow Yun Fat so deserves a goddamn Oscar. He really makes you feel the pain of being betrayed and having to make some hard choices. One of these days, I have to see one of his comedies, since he likes those more than the violent action films. I think he would be quite funny.
TMNT: Shut up. Turtle Power.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: My one true cinematic shame is that I never seen this one in its entirety. I bought the super-fancy Special Edition, too. At least I don't have to worry about hating it anymore. This shit is hilarious.
Drive: God, I love this movie. It is just so ridiculous. I'm not even going to talk too much about it here. I have to do a post extolling the virtues of this film.
I wanted to get Appleseed: Ex Machina before the weekend is over, but the jerks only had it for sale at full price. Puh-leeze.
I still have a ton of movies to watch (I went back for about six more), so my film itch should be scratched for now.
P.S. The job is turning out to be a bit easier now that I have stop thinking so hard. I was overestimating the attention span of those involved and practically scribbled a bunch of stuff down. Still I am definitely asking for a raise.
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