That heart-to-heart with my dad about quitting? EPIC. FAIL.
Yep, he feels that I need tough love or whatnot, and that by forcing me to sacrifice my schooling to work, it is going to teach me something.
See, this is how his mind works:
"I only want things my way. But I can't say that, because it makes me look bad. So I simply give the choice to either do it my way with all my support, or do it by yourself. I do this knowing full well how much you depend on me."
And you know what? He is right. Absolutely right.
And I am going to tell him. See while I am pretending to be simpering along like a good son, I am still going to be doing my own thing. And I am going to make it. I will happily take this half-baked job and use it to fund my own endeavors. And if they try to make me do more than what I am doing now, I am going to refuse. They can't fire me, because I am doing my job. I simply refused a promotion.
And when (not if, WHEN) I do break out of this doldrums, and get self- sufficient, I am going to go to my dad and tell him:
"Dad, you were right. Absolutely right. And I thank you. All it cost was my self-confidence, a few months of depression and suicidal thoughts, and any respect and trust I had for you. I really hope it was worth it."
And then walk away. But here is the kicker: I am not going to put him out of my life. I am going to succeed, and I will be happy to have him there. But I will never trust him again. I will never ask for help, and if he offers I will flat out refuse. And if he needs a helping hand, I, being the awesome son I am, will gladly offer it to him.
As long as he does it MY way.
Better get back, I may hurt somebody when I blow up.
P.S. I can't thank you enough for the encouraging words. Seriously, to know so many people connect with me without even seeing a face is really, truly heartwarming.
Also, Lloyd in Space was totally what I was thinking about.
Yep, he feels that I need tough love or whatnot, and that by forcing me to sacrifice my schooling to work, it is going to teach me something.
See, this is how his mind works:
"I only want things my way. But I can't say that, because it makes me look bad. So I simply give the choice to either do it my way with all my support, or do it by yourself. I do this knowing full well how much you depend on me."
And you know what? He is right. Absolutely right.
And I am going to tell him. See while I am pretending to be simpering along like a good son, I am still going to be doing my own thing. And I am going to make it. I will happily take this half-baked job and use it to fund my own endeavors. And if they try to make me do more than what I am doing now, I am going to refuse. They can't fire me, because I am doing my job. I simply refused a promotion.
And when (not if, WHEN) I do break out of this doldrums, and get self- sufficient, I am going to go to my dad and tell him:
"Dad, you were right. Absolutely right. And I thank you. All it cost was my self-confidence, a few months of depression and suicidal thoughts, and any respect and trust I had for you. I really hope it was worth it."
And then walk away. But here is the kicker: I am not going to put him out of my life. I am going to succeed, and I will be happy to have him there. But I will never trust him again. I will never ask for help, and if he offers I will flat out refuse. And if he needs a helping hand, I, being the awesome son I am, will gladly offer it to him.
As long as he does it MY way.
Better get back, I may hurt somebody when I blow up.
P.S. I can't thank you enough for the encouraging words. Seriously, to know so many people connect with me without even seeing a face is really, truly heartwarming.
Also, Lloyd in Space was totally what I was thinking about.
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