Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Those children who are supposed to be the future? They suck. HARD.

I am in a perturbed mood today.

See, my teacher decided to offer up extra credit points to any of us who volunteered to chat up some middle and high schoolers visiting the campus. You know, give them the old "you can do it" speech and show them how cool our school is. Seeing as how my grades suck, I took him up on this offer, knowing full well I gave about as much of a damn about them as they did about me, which is to say none. That was my first mistake.

My second mistake came when, after I managed to get myself counted for appearing without actually conversing with the little bastards, I let my classmate guilt me into staying a little longer in order to keep him from handling all of them by his lonesome, since everyone else had left. And so began ten minutes I wish I had back. The stupid jokes. The snide comments. One actually bragged about his music scholarship, like that was supposed to impress me. A Goddamn MUSIC SCHOLARSHIP. They insulted my school right in front of me, as if they were too damn good to go here. Better men than you have flunked out, you little assholes.

I hate kids. If you are under 18 right now, I probably hate you. If you are under 20 right now, good chance I hate you. Now, my niece, I love her and her brother. I love my other nephew as well. The rest of them can go to hell. And that is my blood family I am talking about.

I just have this allergy where, if I listen to a kid for more than three seconds, I suddenly have to lunging throat punch them. That is where you lunge forward and shove your fists (or fingers, if you are conditioned enough) as far into their esophagus as physically possible. Repeat until authorities pull you off.

So it is probably a good thing I don't be encouraged to hang around kids.

I should say, at least one guy did ask actual questions about how his honors classes would affect his college load. I think he actually listened to me, instead of asking where the women were. So maybe there is at least one hope. Sigh.

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