Sunday, August 02, 2009

Blog Fiction, Part 1: The Girl

This is the beginning in something I am calling Blog Fiction: an attempt to kick-start my writing while also getting feedback and attention. I am going to start five different stories, each using a different part of The Writer's Toolbox, and ask you to choose which one you want to see completed. This way, I get an idea of my strengths and weaknesses, and you get to shape a (hopefully) future literary phenomenon. Depnding on how it goes, I may even do a little e-publishing.

But don't worry, I will also find time to get another Hottie post up soon.

I loved the way she said "balloon". She said it as if she was blowing bubbles.

"You know what I can't stand? Balloon animals. Well not the animals per se, just the sound of them being made. All that squeaking and everything....make my skin crawl. Auuuugh."

There I was, sitting in the diner, staring at this beautiful woman who just plopped down in the seat in front of me and started talking, as if she was continuing a conversation instead of chatting up a random stranger eating a waffle.

"Um, excuse me....miss....but who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, not the least bit remorseful, too busy staring at the biker at the counter. "Were you doing something important?"

"Yes. I was eating this waffle."

"That's important."

"Indeed. If I don't finish, the world will spin wildly into the sun's path and everyone on earth will be incinerated."

"Don't want that." She smiled, her teeth an eerie sparkling white.

"No, we don't." This was the first time I really noticed the halo. Well, not really a halo like on angels or nothing. Just a light glow around her hair. And her shoulders. And her legs. Her lovely legs.



"Name's Amanda. Pleased to meet you." She jutted out her hand and nearly knocked over my syrup.

"Likewise, I suppose." I caught the syrup in time, but she was barely fazed by it, waiting for me to finish the introduction. In the interest of peace and waffles, I obliged her. "Paul."

"You don't like to talk much, do you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" At that moment, my lower brain was screaming at his upstairs neighbor. Mostly a lot of expletives, but the gist was is a hot woman initiating conversation and you are being an asshole. What the HELL?!?!?!

“I get it. You are just sitting here, trying to save the world with your waffle and some crazy-hot chick with killer legs just plops down next to you and starts with some random non-sequitur. You have no idea who the hell I am, but you are too attracted to me to really tell me to shove off. I see how that would be disconcerting.”

She did have some nice legs.

“Wonderful. A mind reader. So are you going to go now?” What the HELL, MAN?!?!?!!

“Nope. Wanna know why?”


“Because I am the girl of your dreams, you lucky dog.”

Apparently the look on my face was the textbook definition of perplexed, for she continued. “You are in love with me; you just don’t know it yet.”

“What on God’s green earth makes you think that?”

“One, you haven’t stopped staring at me since I walked in. Two, again, you have yet to blow me off, even though you think you are irritated. Three, I am about to get you another waffle, and you aren’t going to say no.”

“So, not just a mind-reader, but a soothsayer as well.”

“Damn skippy.”

We stayed up all night at that diner, just talking. I told her about my folks, she told me about her mom. I mentioned my crazy dream of being an artist instead of an engineer, she told me about the time Ralph Trenant felt her boob and told everyone she was easy. It was back and forth all night. Laughing it up at points, sometimes crying, but never silent.

And then, after the diner closed and we were kicked out, we began walking to her home. Still talking. She was right you know. I was in love with her; I just didn’t know it until then. Then, all I knew was this crazy-hot chick with the great legs was my world at the moment, and I couldn’t understand why.

Yeah, it was great. It had been a while since I felt that good. I liked it. Maybe a bit too much.

Yeah, too bad she was dead at the time.

Oh, don’t worry though. She got better. It was just weird at first.

Huh? Oh, right. I suppose you want to know how, huh? Fine, whatever.

5 brain pickings:

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