Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Things I learned at college that I probably shouldn't

Listen, we of the higher educated all have one thing in common: we went to school to learn one set of things, but we ended up learning some things that were completely off the syllabus. I wish to share some of these with you as another attempt at filler.

Ninety percent of these come from a friend of mine. He is quite astute, even though (and he admits as much) he rarely ever takes his own advice.

First up:

Captain Save-A-Ho: Do you know someone who is always attempting to redeem a target of their affection who has a very salacious reputation and really doesn't want to change? Then you know Captain Save-A-Ho. Despite the name, the sexes really don't matter. As long as you hear anything like "But he is really sweet when he is with me, and he only keeps in touch with those other five girls because they have his kids" or "Well, yeah she is always borrowing money from me, but that is because she knows I am a good provider and am always there for her", they should now have this designation.

Examples: Richard Gere's character in Pretty Woman? Textbook definition of Captain Save-A -Ho. And it would have never worked in real life. See also: Guy Ritchie, whoever marries Charlie Sheen (I like the guy, but come on, he is still a ho).

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4 brain pickings:

  1. How 'bout "Oh, he's still really close to his ex, which as he says is a good thing! So they may have slept in the same bed last weekend, and yeah it was a single but he said he offered to sleep on the floor. And it's not really his fault she's still in love with him - I mean telling her he has a girlfriend now would just be cruel.... right?"

    Sigh. Where do I pick up my badge?

  2. It is less a badge, more of a cape and chest shield with the letters "SAH" on it. But it still makes you look spiffy1

  3. Jesus. Jesus is the original Captain Save-A-Ho.

  4. I love this. I know so many people that this would have applied to.

    Ahh, college. Damn you grad school.


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