Wednesday, July 11, 2007

A Second Celebrity Post. A Dangerous Precedent.

As you may have heard, Catherine Zeta Jones supposedly spends $400 a pop on hair treatments featuring caviar flown in from Iran (oh noes!) and truffles. She apparently flies from her home in Bermuda to South Kensington (in the UK) to get these treatments. This, of course, brought out the usual "anonymous" commenters who felt so damn outraged at something that really wasn't that big a deal.

Here is an example of the main argument, as stated by Todd on IDLYITW.

Man, I bet some starving homeless child can't wait to hear the science behind Catherine's shiny hair. Or is it that he can't wait to beat her up and rob her? Probably beat her up and rob her. And maybe wipe her hair on some crackers. Then rob her again. I'm not sure about the order, but whatever is, it's safe to say that she deserves it.

They this proceed to call this woman they never met a gold digger after Michael Douglas' money, a rich bitch, a waste of space, etc. And of course, someone makes the eventual "supporting terrorists" and "eco-footprint" remarks.

As you should know by now, my favorite pastime is poking holes in idiotic arguments. And I really hate it when people call women such vile names with no real basis. I know they are probably not going to see this, and if they did it won't change their minds, but maybe I will get the one person who will look at themselves and realize they got upset over nothing. By the way, I am presenting my smackdown on the assumption that this is true, which I don't really believe.

First off, no African children (or any poor children) give a crap about caviar. They want bread and meat and water that won't give them dysentery. Overrated fish eggs are not on their must haves right now. So to knock her with that makes no sense. In fact, caviar suffers the same thing as diamonds and gold: only rich people want them, and they severely overestimate their worth. At least with diamonds and gold, they have some industrial use. What use is a damn fish egg except to make more fish? At one time, oysters were considered poor-people food. I know I would be amazed if ham hocks suddenly went for hundreds of dollars. Rich people buy crazy crap all the time, like 50-room mansions, horse farms, and "bling". THAT IS WHY THEY BECOME RICH. So they can do that sort of thing with impunity. So that sounds more like middle-class sour grapes than an actual condemnation.

Next, what money is she trying to get? Michael Douglas isn't bringing home the bacon as much, and he got cleaned out by his last wife. And if you really look at it, Jones is making her own massive amounts of dough to waste. She was an up and coming star with Mask of Zorro and Traffic under her belt when she married him. Now, she has paychecks from  Chicago, Ocean's Twelve, and more to fall back on. Let not forget the endorsement deals, like T-Mobile (at one time) and Elizabeth Arden. So she doesn't need Douglas' money, she has plenty. And considering the reputation of the Douglas family, I don't doubt that Michael swept her off her feet and "got them draws".

Sorry, got a little ATL there.

I don't know if she is a bitch, because like many of the commenters on her personal choices, I HAVE NEVER MET HER. Moving on.

Lastly, have you SEEN the woman?

If that is what caviar does for you, well fuck, I can forgive her spending hundreds of dollars doing something that doesn't involve me whatsoever. Plus, she totally came on to Lily Taylor in The Haunting. ANd you know my feelings on lesbians, and on Lili Taylor.

As usual, the folks over at Cele|bitchy are a bit more civil and point out this is at its core a rich person overpaying for something pretty disgusting sounding, which is fair, since that means that the less-rich can get more money out of her. She gets her pampering, they get a college fund. Everybody wins!

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1 brain pickings:

  1. Brilliant Vermillion. I love your reasoning. In fact, I love you. Yes. Love.


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