I'm Not Saying, I'm Just Saying...

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Awesome Personified: Metal Wolf Chaos

One day, a couple of years ago, I stumbled onto a little known Japan-only Xbox game titled Metal Wolf Chaos. It first gained notice as one of the few Japanese games with full English dialogue. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. After playing this, the world was never the same again.

The premise of said game in helpful video form, because you would never believe me if I typed it:

Watch it again. Go on. Wrap your head around it.

All I know is, when Bush leaves office, we need to search that place top and bottom. I bet you there is a copy of this game there, and if there is, it will explain the last eight years so much.

Thing is, it is even crazier in execution. You think "all your base" was bad? Check out the gems in this clip.

Suck on my missile punch, indeed.

I say that, based on the compelling video footage, we should add Michael Wilson to the esteemed Hall of Fictional Kick-Ass Presidents, right alongside Palmer, Bartlett, and Harrison Ford from Air Force One. Also, we might want to have a talk with Japan about their perception of us. Just saying.

Online Game Teamup, Anyone?

I have gone through my personal game library, and noticed I have quite a few online games that, while not insisting on it, are quite favorable to multiplayer. Remembering that Manny is on Xbox Live, I wondered what other games could I pester my friends into playing with me.

So, here is a list of the games I play online, as well as my character names if applicable. Sound off in the comments if you play them, and maybe we can set up a time to kill some shit and take their...er...shit.

Note: considering the fact that I am a poor college student with ADD, I cannot afford to pay monthly charges to participate in frustrating grind sessions without some sort of immediate payoff (aka quick levels or money). So all of these are free to play (but not necessarily FREE). I do have City of Heroes and probably some other stuff, plus the 360 games, but they are pretty much off-limits until the dough starts rolling in.

Guild Wars (just restarted) - Vermillion James (plus two others)
9Dragons (one of those Korean MMORPGs ported over from Japan. Compeltely free) - RandKai currently
World of Kung Fu BETA (similar to 8Dragons, but less populated, brighter and with better movement in my opinion) - Onigumo
Battlefield 2142 (honestly, I don't know why I got it, I suck at FPS) - Nothing yet

That is about it, if you don't count browser games like Sleuth and Kingdom of Loathing. So hit me up and let me know where you roll!

Cybernetic Succubus: A Short Monologue

I beat it. I finished that unholy mistress known as Mass Effect. Good God, that is one hell of an ending.

...wait a second. What is this? I can play the game again using my previous character? Level 60?!?!?! There is a LEVEL 60!?!?!?!?!?!!!!

And the first in a line of downloadable add-on missions will be available in March?!?!!?!?!!

Please. No more. It is too much. I want to have a life that isn't manipulated by a joystick. Please, let me go, you heartless bitch of a machine.

...oh, the Devil May Cry 4 finished downloading. Well, I suppose I could let you have your way with me a little bit longer.

Just be gentle this time, okay?

Fin.

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There...Are No Words

I...I submit to the superior geekiness.

Jackassery of the Highest Degree

In case you didn't know what this comic refers to, it seems that conservative internet columnist, former radio host, and professional distorter of truths Kevin McCullough (no relation to the wonderful Bruce from Kids in the Hall) has published an online piece titled, get this, "The 'Sex-Box' Race for President". In this article, he rails on and on about the game Mass Effect. While the game has gotten into some quibbles over its reported same-sex scenes, McCullough claims that it is some sort of perverse sex simulator.

""With (the Xbox's) 'over the net' capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away," Mr McCullough wrote. "

"The video game 'persons' hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of."

Naturally, gamers did not appreciate these scurrilous remarks, so they flooded the site with comments. McCullough refused to apologize or change his stance (with Penny Arcade helpfully positive a theory why, above), and even posted several of the more abusive emails on his site as 'proof' of his veracity. Eventually, he did publish an apology to gamers, but still stood by his assessment of the game, feeling that it was "offensive".

I am sure you are wondering where you can see all of this ridiculousness yourselves. Well you won't. It seems that townhall.com, the conservative website that hosted the article, has pretty much erased all mention of the article and McCullough. Any links to it or his bio page return errors or the homepage.

So, what do you six, maybe seven folks think?

Weekend Post: Highlander video game

First Ghostbusters. Now this:

Highlander is a third person action adventure set in the Highlander universe – control an Immortal embroiled in a battle against rival Immortals in an adventure spanning over 2000 years.

Explore and battle your way through epic historical locations. (NY, Pompeii, Japan and the Highlands). Featuring familiar characters from the Highlander series, stunning sword combat, epic battles and high adventure in lush, historical locations.

Here are some of the interesting parts:

- It is a brand new MacLeod, one who was adopted into the clan and is 1000 years older than both Connor and Duncan.

- Story is courtesy of David Abramowitz, writer of the original TV show.

- You gain special abilities through Quickenings (Immortals act as bosses)

- In place of a health bar, there is a fatigue meter. Basically, the meter goes down every time you get hit. If it gets to the bottom, your character collapses from exhaustion, leaving you open for the standard Immortal death by decapitation. The other neat aspect of this is that you can intentionally do damage to yourself to get at enemies, such as impaling yourself on their weapon to disarm or injure them.

Teaser Trailer:



Say it with me now: Squeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who're you gonna call?

It's the Ghostbusters next-gen video game!



Pardon me while I squeal like a little girl. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!