Go to this website: Basic Red D&D.
Right the f*ck NOW. READ IT. ALL OF IT. Let it seep into your bones and transform you. Don't worry about the D&D parts. That is not important. I want you to witness probably the most creative, most imaginative, most balls-out insane and awesome person I have the pleasure of knowing in real life.
He writes reviews for RPGs and fantasy novels that never existed. He created 5th edition backgrounds for players who want to be cake, a goat, or Jason Statham (not A Jason Statham character, ALL Jason Statham characters, which really just means Jason Statham). He has created a cowboy D&D game with mutation charts. He has a "1d20 ways to kill you table" where if you roll a 20, you have to roll seven more times.
There are only three reasons for you not to go to that site:
1) You have fun, life, adventure, and just really everything. You need help.
2) You can demonstrably write this good, even while drunk (which HE HAS, there is a reason "Drunken Dungeon" is a label).
3) I lied, there is no third reason. Go read it.
Go. Read. Comment. Let him know. Because he is a friend, an inspiration, and a goddamn nuisance. His writing makes me excited, envious, and ashamed of my own pitiful attempts. AND HE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT. He has the temerity to be HUMBLE about it. That is some bullsh*t I will NOT STAND FOR. So go there, be amazed, and let him know how amazeballs he is.
